The Ultimate Guide To Naps

Naps, maybe one of the hardest things parents tackle with their children. Why? Because nap needs are constantly evolving through the first year of life, and then they get shorter, and then they stop. It can be so confusing and about the time you think you have it figured out, it changes again. Truthfully, naps are just plain hard for a lot of children. Just like adults, sleeping during the day isn’t super successful for every child. However research has shown us time and time again that your baby or young child DOES need daytime sleep in order to live a healthy functioning and happy life.

This blog will cover pretty much everything you need to know about naps themselves- so let’s get started!

Why do kids nap?

There are 3 critical reasons for babies and young children to take naps:

1.     Sleep Pressure Release

2.     To Prevent Overtiredness and create better emotional, academic, and social functioning.

3.     The idea that sleep begets sleep

Sleep pressure is something we all possess regardless of our age. Sleep pressure builds on us throughout the day until the desire to sleep takes over. While we’re sleeping the pressure releases and we’re able to wake up refreshed and ready to start our day. Sleep pressure builds more quickly in children and naps help to release some of that pressure so they are able to reset the hormones that make them feel tired and start the process once again. Sleep pressure still builds throughout the day for children, it is because they need more sleep than adults to function at their best level that they are able to relieve sleep pressure during the day without disrupting their nighttime sleep.

Overtiredness is actually the number one reason your child is waking up during the night. It’s a funny concept because as adults, if we sleep during the day we are usually (pardon my French) screwed when it comes to bedtime. For adults, who’s sleep pressure builds more slowly, a reset from a nap can seriously mess with our night time sleep. We simply aren’t tired enough. The same isn’t true for infants and young children. Overtiredness will cause children to lose even more sleep, become cranky and irritable, rude and uncompromising, and even cause them to perform more poorly in academic settings.

This leads us into sleep begets sleep. When a child is overtired, they become unwilling to actually go to sleep. They will fight you harder because their bodies and minds have become so dysregulated. Often parents will mistake the backlash of an overtired child for a child not being tired enough. Being undertired can look very similar to being overtired with few differences between them. This is when wake windows can become helpful to a caregiver.

How Much and How Often Should a Child Nap?

As we age, we are able to go longer and longer between needing sleep to reset our bodies. Newborn babies can often only stay up for as long as 45 minutes at a time before their sleep pressure builds to the point of needing a release. The tricky part is that there is no true “wake time” for a certain age. All wake window charts you see online are observational, not hard data. This is why you’ll see one chart tell you that your 12-month-old should be awake for 3.5 hours before a nap and another tell you 4 hours. Individuality plays a large part in our sleep and being low sleep needs, average sleep needs, and high sleep needs are all possibilities.

So why even bother with wake windows? Because the majority of children will fall on the scale of average. For example, for a 3-year-old child, day time sleep needs can range anywhere from 2.5 hours to 0 hours. That’s a huge time difference, yet they are both completely typical. There is always a chance your child could fall off the scale but even if they do, they are most likely very close to “normal.” If you find your child getting the highest end of average sleep for their age AND they are still struggling to stay awake, now is a good time to call your pediatrician for an evaluation.

Download my Wake Window guide HERE

Where should your child nap?

Ideally a child should nap in an environment that is conducive to restorative sleep. A dark room with white noise and a cool temperature is the preferred place for an infant to sleep. However, we all know that isn’t what always happens.

Sometimes we have to nap on the go, and with that the rule of thumb is to take what you can get and try to make up for it later.

If your child falls asleep in the car on the way home, you have two options:

. 1. Get comfortable and let them get in a decent nap (30 minutes minimum) or

 2. Try to transfer them to their crib or bassinet.

Short Naps and How to Respond:

One of the biggest complaints I get about parents is short naps, and I get it. There is nothing more exhausting than finally getting a minute to yourself or starting a chore, only for the nap to suddenly be over. The problem is, most parents have no idea what a “short nap” actually is!

For a child under the age of 6 months naps as short as 20 minutes are developmentally appropriate. They are infuriating, but they are appropriate. In fact, a nap anywhere from 20 minutes to 2 hours at that age is completely within range. So, this is the part where I tell you not to compare your child to other children.

For children over the age of 6 months anything under a 45-minute nap is considered short. We obviously want longer naps than that and it’s worth working to try and improve, but if 45 minutes is what you get then you would really be struggling to ask for more.

If your child does take a short nap then you have 2 options:

1.     Rescue the nap- meaning going in and assisting them back to sleep. 9/10 you will end up needing to hold them for the remainder of their nap, so I reserve this for very short naps that have the ability to really throw off the day.

2.     Crib Time- essentially having your child “finish” the nap whether they are awake or not. There are many benefits to crib hour including:

1.     Allowing your baby time to connect sleep cycles on their own and fall back to sleep

2.     While not as restorative as sleep, resting in a dark environment can combat some of that sleep pressure allowing you to make it to the next nap or bedtime more rested

3.     Reinforcing the idea that it’s time to sleep. We all wake up in between sleep cycles. If the second your child pops their eyes open you rush in to get them, you are sending the message that it’s time to get up, even if they aren’t actually ready to fully wake.

Download my guide to Crib Time HERE

Skipped Nap Completely:

This happens to the best of us. Developmental changes, illness, teething, change of venue, all of these are reasons your child may skip their nap, and none of them can be helped.

I need to mention that if your child is continuously skipping a nap or taking more than 30 minutes to fall asleep AND it’s developmentally appropriate, then it’s time to consider they might be ready to drop that particular nap. (my condolences)

But let’s say this is a fluke and not a change in sleep needs, what do you do?

First, decide when to call it an officially skipped nap. This will go back to Crib Time. If you laid them down and crib time is up, then it’s a skipped nap. I also recommend a video baby monitor for this purpose. While you don’t have to keep it on the entire nap time, it can be helpful to take a peek and see what’s going on. Maybe crib time is up but you notice they are starting to settle in or close their eyes. It could be worth an extra 10-15 minutes to see if some sleep ends up happening.

Second, take a deep breath and reset yourself. It’s okay to have emotions surrounding a skipped nap. You may be disappointed because you had a chore to do or wanted to catch up on a tv show. You may be frustrated because now you know your child will be cranky or more difficult. You may even be a bit angry because they aren’t doing what you feel they are “supposed” to do. All these emotions are common, valid, and okay to feel. Regardless, here you are though, so regulate yourself to try and better regulate your soon to be overtired child.

Third, move up their next nap or bedtime by 30 minutes or so. If you are “out” of naps but still can’t make it to a 6:00PM bedtime, then I suggest offering a 30-minute nap around 3-4PM to make it to a decent bedtime.

When Are Naps a thing of the past?

Sadly, all good things must come to an end, and this means naps. Dropping naps completely happens between the ages of 2.5 and 5 years old (I know, I’m being so specific here). It can be helpful to know that the majority of kids drop naps completely in their 4th year.

The odds of a child under the age of 2.5 dropping naps completely Is highly unlikely. Of course, it can and does occur, but there is a higher chance that your child is going through the 24-month sleep regression than actually done napping. Power through.

 When a child discontinues napping it is usually a very long and drawn-out process. Some children will abruptly stop napping one day and never return, but the majority will nap occasionally or even half of the time for the better part of a year.

This is why it’s so important to offer quiet time to our preschool aged children. We don’t want to eliminate the ability for them to go to sleep if they so choose and we still want to give them that downtime to restore their bodies and brains to continue the day.